Can you keep a secret series of chronicles
by LuvInu88
Summary: They all went through a lot, different stories and backgrounds. But what was happening inside? There is a catch to everything, and a reason too. Chapter 1- Rukia


Hello all,

So, inspiration hit me hard the other night and I just had to write this. The idea is to write in a different character's POV with what's happened to them through-out the story of bleach. I will not be writing one chronicle for every single characters, and as is the case for the protagonist of this first one I might just do a repeat for her. Each chronicle will also be inspired by a song.

Enjoy!

_-__I was always all alone__and I'd forgotten my destiny…__  
__and now suddenly, at midnight, my eyes have opened in a light…_

_ "Hikari" by Utada Hikaru_

It seemed quite ironic, Rukia knew her share of hardship in her childhood, but along with it she knew great happiness. Growing up in one of the most precarious and treacherous slums of Rukongai, She had met her best friend, and shared almost everything with him, the hard times and the golden moments. Destiny led them to take the same path, and enter the Shinigami academy, It was a joint decision, they had witness their friends die off one by one and both happened to have reiatsu, it was only natural that they take that next step. Upon entering, they were placed in different classes and groups and slowly drifted apart.

Despite all that, he never stopped thinking about her, after all he couldn't fool anyone about his feelings for her, and they were solid but not ripe enough. She knew she loved him, she had always loved him, but just the same her love was unclear and unresolved, did she love him as a brother? A friend? Or was there something else there? She never let herself dwell on those thoughts long enough to make a conclusion, perhaps out of fear. They were still quite immature.

When the Kuchiki family stepped in to claim her, as a slumdog he didn't feel he had the right to deny her a better life, and unaware of how much that would hurt him in the aftermath, he let her go. She had also been hurt, no matter how much a girl buries herself in denial, a heartbreak is a heartbreak after all. She would never tell, but if he had told her not to go, she would have rejected the offer in a heartbeat. Did he not want her by his side anymore?_  
_

The rigid codes of etiquette and demands in the Kuchiki clan were smothering, but she kenw that she had to adapt to it, and she tried so hard, but she would always be a slumdog at heart, thus always a tiny pointy pebble in the Kuchiki family's big golden shoe.

By then she had buried herself deep in abnegation, and her feelings for the fiery red-head became even fuzzier, after all, with the new honorifics she acquired and the way he began to address her so formally, apparently avoid her company, purposefully pushing her away were like a bucket of freezing arctic water unceremoniously shed over the flame that silently burned between them.

Years so lonely inside that big manor, with that man as cold as ice who only spoke to her when absolutely necessary, no one to talk to, now with no friends and no prospects of making any, feeling abandoned by the only one she had there. Within weeks of her graduation the gracious hand of nepotism from the cold Byakuya landed her directly into a seated position in the 13th division, making it especially difficult for others to warm up to her. One could only feel so awkward in such situation, she had no desire to be there, but how could she reject a rare act of generosity from the man who now provided for her?

She felt completely lost and unsuitable, but suddenly a light switched on in the dark, Shiba Kaien...he was kind to her, treated her like a normal friend would, he showed warmth to her and on top of that he was good looking…naturally she fell for him, outwardly it appeared to be a crush, but she knew that on the inside she was burning for him. 

He was happily married, she did not intend to take any action, just being at his side, training and talking with him was enough. She knew all he did for her was out of genuine kindness, and that made it even worse for her because genuine kindness was in very short supplies these days. She already felt torn apart, Renji was a far thought at that point, all she did was fantasize about the 13th division's vice captain all day, she knew it was wrong to goad the emotion, she felt like there was a devil inside her, she saw how happy Kaien- dono was with his truly beautiful wife, and she too was kind. A little demon inside her , deep inside, wanted to see them torn apart in hopes that he would magically come running into her arms and tell her he felt the same burning passion for her, that he had been hiding it so well all along.

That never happened, instead, not long after, by a cruel twist of fate he died in her arms...by her sword, and she would forever carried that trauma, falling deeper into the pit of depression and loneliness she had been in from square one, point in fact she had first started to fall down that hole when she entered the academy with Renji, it all began to blur and fall apart from then.

After Kaien's death she became emotionally unresponsive, her "brother" then tried to keep her away from her duties, isolate her even more from the rest. Had he done this because she somehow managed to besmirch the Kuchiki name even further?

For a moment she seriously considered suicide, but ironically she was already dead.

Her conscience kicked in and suddenly she began blaming everything on herself. She abandoned Renji...she acted superior and made him distance himself from her, she was selfish in taking up the offer of the kuchiki family, stepping over others to a position she did not deserve, she had caused Kaien's death. She secretly felt a small pang of hope when she heard his wife had disappeared, now there would be an opening for him to notice her. She was a monster. Unworthy of all good things that came to her, so she accepted the mission on earth, she would be alone, unable to cause any more damage to others. If she got lucky a hollow would swallow her up. She deserved to suffer.

What she found on earth, she did not expect at all.

A grouchy orange haired high-schooler who could see her, he noticed her, and for some unclear reason, from the moment she looked him in the eye she trusted him unconditionally.

What transpired between them that first night changed both their existences forever. She had not realized it at that point… but all of a sudden a light had once again found her at midnight.

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So this was unintentional , but the way I closed up the chapter leaves room for more, and I'm aching to explore it further...anyways if you're a big fan of j-pop and you haven't heard of Utada Hikaru you should definitely check her out, and due to the fact that I'm a big fan some other of the chapters will probably feature more of her songs as inspiration.

Pls review! It makes me happy and gives me incentive to continue.

kisses


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